BIG News!

Hello everyone! I have been MIA for a while just because I've been SO busy. I picked up another class, this one is a short certificate program so that I can hopefully get a better job...



soon...


because...



I'M HAVING ANOTHER BABY!!!




We are so excited! Owen is not quite big enough to understand, but we have lots of time to teach him how to say "Big Brother" since I am not due til fall. My skin has been doing pretty good, but I am worried because until I check with my doctor I cannot tan or take any of the potent vitamins I have been taking since I started TSW. I am beyond tired, but that comes with the territory. The first three months are the hardest with sickness and exhaustion for me. I am hoping my OB/GYN appointment at the end of the month goes well, I will be having an ultrasound to determine exactly how far along I am, and also hopefully hearing baby's heartbeat for the first time. We always called Owen "Little Bean" before he was born because we kept his name a secret. I haven't come up with a nickname for this baby yet, but I am thinking we might just stick with Little Bean. :)

Just wanted to share my good news and let everyone know that yes, I am still alive, just rarely have time to post. Hope everyone else is doing well... Hopefully spring is around the corner! I for one am ready for some sun! :)

Feeling hopeful

Big step for me today!  I took a shower instead of a bath! I am hoping I feel good enough to do it again tomorrow!  Posting this from my phone in bed because I already took benedryl for the night and am so sleepy. Just wanted to share some good news for once! :)

Busy Busy Busy

I haven't posted in a few days because I've been very busy. We finally got carpet in rest of the upstairs of our house, so I have been doing a final deep cleaning of the upstairs so that I can (finally) put things in the rooms up there! We moved into a new home about four months ago, and two of the bedrooms were not finished. It is an old farmhouse, and a work in progress, but we are renting from my grandpa, so we have an awesome landlord who takes great care of us! :)

I also have been working a lot, I work at Dairy Queen currently, and lots of people want ice cream despite the fact that we have about 10 inches of snow and sub-zero weather! This week is midterms for me as well, so I've been attached to my Anatomy and Physiology textbook whenever possible. I must admit, I am busier than most people, but I really love everything that I do, and each of the aspects of my life connect, so I can't give up anything, though some days when my skin is really bothering me, I would like to! I have to work to support my son, I have to study so that I can get a degree and get a better job to support us, I obviously have to care for him and my home and my fiance, so even on my most exhausted days, I push through, because I know that the pain and exhaustion is only temporary, and there is a much brighter future ahead!

Recently a LOT of people, particularly customers at work, have been commenting on/asking questions about my skin. Mostly they assume it is sunburn, but it really irks me that a complete stranger would comment on another person's appearance like that. It's nowhere near as bad as when I worked at Walmart a few years ago, the fluorescent lights made me look even redder than usual, and almost every customer who came through my checkout line would comment. It really wears you down to have to keep explaining it, or more often in my case, making excuses. It's something that I know most people won't understand, so I just say I stayed in the tanning bed too long. 

I am so glad I started this blog, it is nice to know that even if only a couple people read this, they are people who truly understand what I am going through. I have spent far too many nights crying in bed and saying "Why me? I can't be the only one going through this.." 

Making Progress-Pictures

I have decided to finally post some pictures of my skin. If you are reading this, please note that I am posting because this a VERY good for my skin, and I am proud of my progress. 

Neck. This is still by far my most sensitive area, but a month ago it was raw and weeping constantly. I still can't wear any shirts that touch my neck, but it is much better than it was. 

My hands are healing nicely, they are still puffy, (they call this elephant skin, I guess?) but I am hoping they will look better as time goes on.

My face, not even any cracks!

My arms tend to get very itchy and I did scratch them a lot last night, but very few small cracks here.

The tops of my feet are scarred, this is the site of my original eczema outbreak when I was a baby. 

My ankles and the sides of my feet are still a problem area, and by far the itchiest part of my body. 

And just for fun, here is a picture of my darling little boy, Owen, and his perfect skin! :)

I have had several good days and several bad days this past week, but my fatigue is at an all-time high. I am not sure why, but I am hoping it gets better as the week goes on. 

A Bad Day

Today was a very hard day. I had the start of a very bad flare yesterday... Not exactly sure why. I was up most of last night because of the itching. Thankfully I have a lot of support from my fiance and my mom in taking care of Owen. I did make it out to tan today, which always seems to help dry my skin out when it is weeping. I would much rather have dryness and flaking than the wetness. My hands are cracked, which at this point is just annoying. I constantly have to get my hands wet at work, and though I try to avoid it at home, there are certain things I can't avoid doing, like giving Owen his bath. I wear gloves when I do most everything else around the house, but the baby wash and shampoo are gentle enough that I can touch them without gloves. 

Tonight, though I really, really want to just go to bed, (It's 9:30pm) I finished up cleaning my house, and now am working on some homework that is due tonight. I am an online student, which I started because I did not want to have to take my son to daycare so that I could go to classes, but am now very thankful that I can work on my studies from the comfort of my bed/couch. :)

Lately, I am just happy when I make it through one more day. I think once the weather warms up my skin will improve a lot. Right now it is below zero here, and the cold makes my hands crack badly. Yuck! Ready for summer!

Haircuts!

I am making a conscious effort to not let my skin control my life anymore. This past week, my sister and I cut our hair and donated it to Locks of Love. It felt really amazing to do something that could possibly change someone's life! I am the brown haired one. :) I have not had my hair cut by a professional in over 2 years, because they never understand that I absolutely CANNOT let the skin on my neck get wet, and I am terrified of the irritation that will occur if any small hairs get into the skin on my neck. 

I did have a strange moment while at the salon though, the girl cutting my hair said that she had eczema on her hands when her kids were little, and that touching raw chicken was one of the things that she could recall even now, (about 20 years later,) that made her itching unbearable. It was so strange that she said this, because I experience the exact same thing... It has gotten to the point that if we are going to have chicken for a meal, I cannot prepare it at all, I have to do it on a night that my fiance is home from work so that he can do it. No other foods affect me this way, either. Just makes me think that some of the things I experience are not as uncommon as I once thought. 

Sunday, January 26

Well, today is just plain not a good day. I slept in this morning, and when I woke up, my neck and chest are raw from scratching, and I have gone from using my usual Cetaphil, (my favorite moisturizer,) to using A&D ointment. I usually steer clear of ointments and oils as they tend to make me itchier in the long run than the creams. I use Cetaphil as my all over moisturizer after my bath in the morning, and I have a cream called Exzaderm that my mother in law got me from Amazon.com that is a lot thicker and I usually use that on my neck and face. It's a lot greasier than the Cetaphil but it seems to help with itching as well as the dryness. 

Today is one of those days where I wish I could have just not gotten up at all. I am so exhausted from itching and scratching that I just want to nap the day away. Add in that I've taken about my weight in Benedryl to try to stop the itching, and being awake is nearly impossible. I'm over at my mom's house so that she can help me with Owen. I guess I have not mentioned that I have a son, he is about a year and half old and so full of energy! He is my inspiration to pull through the hard days, so that I can get to a good day and we can play. :)

A Start

I decided to start a blog to track my progress through eczema and topical steroid withdrawal. I have been steroid free since December 31, 2013 and have been keeping a written diary, but thought maybe I could find others going through this. I am sorry this is so short since it is my first entry... Today was not a good day. The exhaustion that comes with this is unbelievable. Goodnight for now.